Keeping It Real

A bit of honesty here – I am in denial about my wedding.   It’s only a few weeks out, and by a few I mean less than four.  I’ve been planning for this day officially for the past eighteen months.  Unofficially… well let’s just say I’ve had ideas about my wedding for years.  And now?  It’s so close.

When I pictured the month leading up to my wedding, I pictured my life in perfect order (hey, a girl can dream).  My house would be tidy, I would look the most beautiful I have ever looked and would be over the moon giddy with excitement.  In reality?  My house is a complete mess -gifts have taken over our dining room, our poor fridge is bare because I don’t have time to cook, the wedding room looks disastrous and there are two bedrooms with more clothes on the floor than I care to admit.  I am so stressed that I’m breaking out and overtired to the point that my body is rebelling.  And while I’m giddy to marry Fiance, I am also stressed about getting everything done in time.  And I feel lonely – this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and surrounded by friends and family.  But the truth of the matter is that my family lives three hours away, and I don’t have time to spend with my friends or even quality time with Fiance because work, wedding preparations and just trying to stay afloat have consumed me.

When people ask me about the wedding I am in complete denial that it’s so close.  I mean my mind knows that it is approaching, but my heart doesn’t believe it.

I’m not writing this post as a woe is me, because this is a really great time in my life, and there are certainly times I feel it.  I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who has felt such a mix of emotions before their wedding.

What are your thoughts?  Did anyone else feel such a mix of emotions before their big day and if so, how did you deal?  Anyone else in denial like me?